Netflix’s Red Notice is as Bad as Blockbuster Movies

Netflix’s star-studded franchise-starter is cheap, clumsy, and worst of all, boring.

EarlyEarly in Netflix’s attempted heist blockbuster Red Notice, FBI agent Johnson Hartley (Dwayne Johnson) tracks wisecracking thief Nolan Booth (Ryan Reynolds) to the Museo Nazionale di Castel Sant’Angelo in Rome. Booth plans to swipe an 18-karat Egyptian egg, but the priceless artifact has already been stolen. Hartley proves it by pouring a can of Coke over the counterfeit egg on display. The lacquer of fake gold dissolves under the corrosive liquid, and the egg melts into rusted trash.

No scene in this lumbering action movie better exemplifies how hollow writer-director Rawson Marshall Thurber’s Netflix film is. Featuring a trio of supposed movie stars who lack the panache or charisma of true marquee headliners, Red Notice is another visually ghastly bid at building a franchise on the back of breathtakingly boring action sequences.

Like the National Treasure or Indiana Jones movies, Red Notice is propelled by the mythology of ancient artifacts and the greed they attract. According to this movie’s lore, more than 2,000 years ago, Roman general Mark Antony gifted his love, the Egyptian queen Cleopatra, with three golden eggs. After their joint death by suicide, the three tokens were scattered. One settled in the Museo Nazionale. Another is with a private collector. The third has been lost for centuries. An Egyptian billionaire wants to reunite the eggs for his daughter’s wedding, and is willing to pay big money to bring them together. Hartley very nearly foils the plot, until he’s framed as a thief by a mysterious criminal named The Bishop (Gal Gadot). He needs to find the three eggs and arrest Booth and Bishop if he wants to clear his name.

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While Red Notice is meant to provide origin stories for these characters, their backgrounds are lackluster. Hartley and Booth turn out to have similarly tragic childhoods, stemming from terrible dads. But their long-winded summaries of their lives are so banal, they don’t supply any emotional branches for the audience to latch on to. Nor are they funny. The unlikely pair wind up tethered by a common cause, but Tony Curtis and Sidney Poitier in The Defiant Ones they are not. As they confront the ruthless Bishop, who is maneuvering against them as a poorly rendered copy of Sharon Stone in Basic Instinct, their improbable partnership grates under a script filled with dreadful dialogue. (This is another film that uses the “We’re opposites, but we’re actually not all that different” trope.)